Barbra Streisand – Memory (The Theme From Andrew Lloyd Webber's Musical "Cats") 0

CONFIDANTE
They say that this youth
has set my Lady's
heart aflame!

1ST FOP
His Lordship sure
would die of shock!

2ND FOP
His Lordship is
a laughing-stock!

CONFIDANTE
Should he suspect her
God protect her!

ALL THREE
Shame! Shame! Shame!

This faithless lady's
bound for Hades!
Shame! Shame! Shame!

COUNTESS
Serafimo - your disguise is perfect.

(A knock at the door)

Who can this be?

DON ATTILIO
Gentle wife, admit your loving
husband.

ATTENTION BACK ON STAGE
(The COUNTESS admits DON ATTILIO. He is an old fool)

DON ATTILIO
My love - I am called to England on affairs of State, and
must leave you with your new maid. (Aside) Though I'd
happily take
the maid with me.

COUNTESS
(aside)
The old fool is leaving!

COUNTESS
(CARLOTTA)
Serafimo - away with this pretence!

(She rips off SERAFIMO'S skirt to reveal his manly
breeches)

You cannot speak, but kiss me in my
husband's absence!

Poor fool, he makes me laugh!
Haha,
Haha! etc.
Time I tried to get a better better half !

COUNTESS AND CHORUS
Poor fool, he doesn't know!
Hoho,
Hoho! etc.
If he knew the truth, he'd never, ever go!

(Suddenly from nowhere, we hear the voice of the
PHANTOM)

PHANTOM'S VOICE
Did I not instruct that Box Five was to be kept empty?

MEG
(terrified)
He's here: the Phantom of the Opera . . .

(General reaction of bewilderment.
CHRISTINE looks fearfully about her)

CHRISTINE
It's him . . . I know it . . . it's him . . .

CARLOTTA
(Finding a scapegoat in CHRISTINE,
hisses at her)
Your part is silent, little toad!

(But the PHANTOM has heard her)

PHANTOM'S VOICE
A toad, madame? Perhaps it is you
who are the toad . . .

(Again general unease. CARLOTTA and the
CONDUCTOR confer and pick up from the opening of the
scene)

CARLOTTA
(As the COUNTESS)
Serafimo, away with this pretence!
You cannot speak, but kiss me in my croak!

(Instead of singing she emits a great croak like a toad. A
stunned silence. CARLOTTA is as amazed as anyone but
regains herself and continues. More perturbing,
however, is a new sound: the PHANTOM is laughing -
quietly at first, then more and more hysterically)

CARLOTTA
(as the COUNTESS)
Poor fool, he makes me laugh -
Hahahahaha!
Croak, croak, croak,
croak, croak, croak, etc.

FIRMIN
Ladies and gentlemen, the performance will
continue in ten minutes' time . . .
. . . when the role of the Countess will be sung by Miss
Christine Daae.

ANDRE
(improvising)
In the meantime, ladies and gentlemen, we shall be
giving you the ballet from Act Three of tonight's opera.